Your Problem Isn’t Motivation or Discipline

Did you start this year with big intentions… and somehow it’s still January and you’re already slightly annoyed with yourself?

Maybe you promised:
“I’m done scrolling in bed.”
“I’m going to take a run every morning.”
“I’m going to read my scriptures every morning like I’m auditioning for Seminary President.”

And then one missed morning happens.

Suddenly your brain chimes in:
“There she goes again.”
“Why bother?”
“Clearly I was not meant to be a morning person… or a disciplined person… or possibly even a person.”

Let’s get something straight.

Your problem is not motivation.
Your problem is not discipline.
Your problem is not that you ‘don’t want it enough.’

The most painful problem facing women today is the opinion they have of themselves.

And here’s why that matters so much: the way you talk to yourself becomes the fuel you live from. 🚗
You cannot shame yourself into a better life.
You cannot bully yourself into progress.
And self-criticism is not a spiritual gift—so you can stop practicing it.

Charity Begins With You

Jesus taught two great commandments:
Love God.
Love your neighbor as yourself.

But culturally, we often translate that into:
Love God.
Love your neighbor.
And you? Well… quietly manage yourself and trust that self-neglect somehow counts as humility.

It doesn’t.

God did not command us to neglect ourselves. Love—better said, charity—includes and begins with the woman in the mirror.

What Charity Really Means

Most of us think we understand charity. We’ve heard countless lessons about loving others, being more Christlike, and extending grace outward.

But here’s what is rarely taught:

Those attributes of charity were not only meant to teach us how to love others.
They were meant to teach us how to love ourselves.

Charity is patient and kind.
It rejoices in truth.
It believes and hopes all things.
It never fails.

That’s how love shows up—not just in our relationships with others, but in our relationship with ourselves.

There are thirteen attributes of charity described in scripture. Some feel intuitive. Others feel… mysterious—especially when we try to apply them inward.

Three of the hardest?

Charity suffereth long.
Charity endureth all things.
Charity beareth all things.

These are often where self-love breaks down. We expect ourselves to heal quickly, grow quickly, and “get it together” immediately. But real charity knows that growth takes time, patience, and compassion.

Charity Practiced Inward

So what does this actually look like?

Suffering long means being patient with your own growth curve.
It’s the woman who doesn’t panic when progress feels slow. She doesn’t decide something has gone wrong just because it’s taking longer than she hoped. She allows herself to be a work in progress—without turning that into a verdict against herself.

Enduring means staying with the process.
Especially when you’re still working on the thing you thought you healed three journals ago. Revisiting an old struggle doesn’t mean you’re starting over. It often means you’re meeting the lesson with deeper awareness. Endurance says, I can stay with this, instead of What’s wrong with me?

Bearing means holding your past with honesty and compassion.
It’s choosing not to replay old decisions as proof that you’re broken. You let your past inform you—without letting it define you. You acknowledge what’s been hard and keep moving forward with kindness.

That’s what charity looks like when it’s turned inward.
It’s patient.
It’s steady.
And it makes room for you to be human while you grow. 💗

Why Self-Judgment Makes Everything Harder

Your brain has a natural negative bias. It scans for what’s wrong to keep you safe. That’s normal.

But when left on autopilot, one small misstep doesn’t just mean That didn’t go as planned. It quickly becomes Something must be wrong with me.

Over time, that way of thinking becomes a habit.

So we fall short once and immediately jump to:
“I’m not good enough.”

That thought can quietly run a life like background noise. And when you believe it, everything becomes harder—not because you lack strength, but because you’re trying to move forward while questioning your own worth.

Awareness is the beginning of change.

Thoughts Create Feelings. Feelings Drive Actions.

This isn’t a motivational speech—it’s how the brain works.

Thoughts create feelings.
Feelings drive actions.

If I believe I’m not good enough, I will feel discouraged.
And discouraged brains say things like:
“It’s cold outside. We should not run.”
“Let’s hibernate and think righteous thoughts instead.”

Not because you’re weak.
Not because you’re lazy.
But because discouragement cannot fuel consistent action.

Giving up isn’t a flaw. It’s a symptom of self-judgment.

The Practice of Charity

There are specific behaviors—intentional thoughts—that help us practice charity toward ourselves:

• I will be patient with myself.

• I know that change takes time and effort.

• Success and failure go hand in hand.

• I will not give up on myself.

• I will accept my past and stop fighting it.

• I will focus on the present.

• I will pay the price for peace.

• I will take accountability and responsibility.

• I will not run from the pain of my past—but bear it honorably.

These are not affirmations meant to make you feel better.
They are choices you practice when things feel hard.

And sometimes that practice looks like this:
Two steps forward.
One step back.
Or even standing still for a moment while you gather yourself.

Imagine What’s Possible

Now imagine your life six months from now.

You’re patient with yourself.
You expect progress, not perfection.
A missed day becomes a comma, not a period.

You keep going.
You stay present.
Your mental energy returns.

Your relationship with yourself becomes safe.

The woman in the mirror is no longer someone you’re at war with—she’s becoming your friend.

This is what opens up when you stop giving up on yourself.

You are allowed to grow slowly.
You are allowed to learn as you go.
And you are worthy of patience—especially from yourself.