Want to Change Your Life? Start By Changing This One Thing
So, you want to change your life? 🙋♀️
Not just tweak a few habits or spruce up your morning routine—but really, truly change the direction of your life?
Then you’ve got to start with this:
🧠 Your thoughts.
Most of us think thousands of thoughts a day—some experts say it’s around 60,000! 😲 But what’s wild is how many of those thoughts are just reruns. Old, familiar, well-worn mental loops we don’t even realize we’re thinking.
Some of those thoughts are great. In fact, here are a few helpful ones that might be quietly supporting you:
“I’m learning as I go.”
“God is aware of me.”
“I can do hard things.”
“My worth doesn’t change based on someone else’s opinion.”
But not all of our reruns are that kind.
Some of them are quietly chipping away at our confidence.
Some of them are flat-out lies.
I call these the donut thoughts. 🍩
Not because they’re sweet—but because they’re sticky. And if you keep feeding on them, they’ll leave you feeling sluggish, unsatisfied, and confused about who you are and what’s possible.
🚩 What Do Donut Thoughts Sound Like?
They sound like this:
“I’m never going to make it.”
“Nothing ever works out for me.”
“I’m too old.”
“There must be something wrong with me.”
“I’ll always be alone.”
They’re not kind.
They’re not honest.
And they’re definitely not from God.
But they can shape your entire life—because your thoughts influence how you feel, how you show up, and what results you create.
📉 The Consequences of Believing a Lie
Let’s play this out for a second.
If you believe, “I’ll always be alone,” what kind of feelings does that create?
Hopelessness.
Defeat.
Discouragement.
And how do you show up when you feel that way?
You withdraw. You stop trying. You second-guess yourself at church, at work, online—even in prayer. You shrink. 😞
That belief creates a ripple effect, one that leads to isolation, confusion, and disconnection—from others and from yourself.
🙋♀️ My Story: When I Believed “I’m Not Good Enough”
I know this because I’ve lived it.
For years, the thought that ran my life was:
“I’m not good enough.”
And because I believed that, I felt inadequate. Scarce. Small.
So how did I show up?
I chased men who weren’t emotionally available.
Men who weren’t interested in love.
Men who didn’t invest in me—but I still tried to earn their attention. 💔
Why? Because I believed I had to settle for whatever I could get.
I called that dating.
But really, it was desperation dressed up in hope.
I couldn’t see the “top shelf” kind of love—because I didn’t believe I belonged there. I was looking down, not up.
That one donut thought had me stuck in heartbreak, loneliness, and confusion—until I got some help.
That’s when I finally saw that thought for what it was: a lie.
And once I stopped automatically believing it, everything started to shift.
🛠️ Want to Uncover Your Donut Thought? Start Here.
The tricky thing about these sticky thoughts is… we often don’t know we’re thinking them.
So how do you find yours?
Here’s a quick trick:
Pay attention to what you’re doing—and what you’re avoiding.
Are you saying no to invitations?
Sitting silent when you want to speak up?
Avoiding your scripture study or prayers?
Start asking yourself: Why?
Why am I pulling back?
Why am I hiding?
Why am I avoiding connection with others—or with God?
That why often leads straight to the thought that’s been running in the background. And once you see it, you can question it:
“Is this even true?”
“Of all the thoughts I could think—why am I thinking this one?”
“What else could be true?”
That’s where change begins.
That’s where clarity begins. 💡
🌱 From Confusion to Clarity
I’ve seen this same transformation in my client Erin.
She had no idea she was walking around believing, “Everyone else is better than me.”
But once we uncovered it together, everything shifted—her confidence, her relationships, even her income.
Because your thoughts matter. You matter.
And when you start telling yourself the truth—the kind that nourishes instead of drains—you’ll finally move from confusion to clarity.
🎧 Want Help Getting Clear?
If you’re ready to start changing your life, I’d love to help you uncover the thoughts holding you back. That’s exactly the kind of work we do inside my coaching program.
But whether you’re ready for coaching or not, there’s something you can do today to start moving forward:
👉 Grab your free Summer Rewind Playlist at sharonlamarcoaching.com/insider.
It’s a plug-and-play guide with five listener-favorite episodes that will help you trade confusion for clarity—and start seeing your life and your possibilities with new eyes. 💛