Want Love? Here’s What It’ll Really Take to Get It

You know how to budget for a couch or a vacation—but what about the things you want most?

A new couch might cost you $2,299. You browse, compare styles, maybe check Consumer Reports, save up, swipe the card, and boom—done. 🛋️

But when what you want is something deeper—a romantic relationship, more connection, or simply to stop feeling so alone—the path forward isn’t as clear. And the price? Well, it’s not printed on a tag.

That’s because the things we want most in life often come with a different kind of cost. Not dollars, but something more personal.

It’s not in your purse.
It’s in you.

Let’s talk about what love really costs—and why it’s worth every bit of it. 💛

💭 Tangible vs. Elusive Wants

When the thing you want is a couch, the next steps are simple. Shop. Budget. Buy.

But when you want a relationship? A healthy, spiritually aligned, loving connection with someone you can share your Sunday afternoons with?

Now the price is internal. It’s personal growth.

We’re talking about giving up things like:

• Your pride

• Your need to control the outcome

• Your fear of vulnerability

• The old stories you keep rehearsing that tell you you’re “too much,” “not enough,” or “too late”

That’s the real currency of getting what you don’t already have.

❤️ The Cost of a Relationship: 3 Things You’ll Likely Have to Give Up

1. The Need to Be Right

When I was younger, my “ideal man” list was short: returned missionary, good provider. ✅

But the older I got, the more I realized that the kind of man I’d truly connect with would probably have lived some life—maybe even been married before. Or twice.

Spoiler: I’m wife number three.

Letting go of my rigid version of “right” didn’t mean lowering my standards. It meant loosening my grip. It meant making space for God’s influence in my story—and for the real man who’d walk into it.

Sometimes, what we think is “right” is just what’s familiar. Be open to the unexpected. God’s plans are often better than our best scripts.

And if you’ve ever been called “too picky,” go listen to [Episode 52]—we cover that exact thing. 😉

2. The Expectation That Every Date Must Be 'The One'

This one’s sneaky.

You go on a date and think, “He’s nice, but he’s not the one.” And maybe he’s not.

But dating isn’t about instant fireworks or finding your eternal companion in a single evening. It’s about learning. Practicing. Laughing. Connecting. Having a real conversation with a real human being—even if they’re not your future husband.

When you release the pressure for every date to be the one, dating becomes lighter, richer, and a whole lot more enjoyable. ✨

Not every date has to end marriage. Sometimes it ends with a great story, or a new realization about what really matters to you.

3. Patience—with the Process and with Yourself

This one’s not optional. 🙃

If you’re in it for the long game—if you want something meaningful, not just surface-deep—you’ll need patience. Not just with the men, or the timeline, or the dating apps...but with yourself.

You’ll need patience as you heal from past hurt.
Patience as you unlearn old thought patterns that sabotage new possibilities.
Patience as you evolve into a woman who doesn’t just want love…she’s ready to receive it.

You can’t shortcut this growth. You can’t defer the payment. But you can choose to keep showing up for yourself.

🛑 One More Thing: Love Doesn’t Go on Sale

There’s no clearance rack for companionship. No BOGO deals for temple-worthy relationships.

You will never get what you truly want without giving something up in return. That’s not punishment—it’s the price of becoming. 🌱

The version of you who receives the love you want is not the version of you who stays stuck in fear, control, or perfectionism.

But here’s the beautiful part…

When you invest in something deeply—whether it’s a relationship with a man, a friend, or yourself—it doesn’t depreciate. It deepens. And it gets better over time.

📝 A Question to Reflect On

So let me ask you…

What do you want right now that doesn’t have a price tag?

What might it cost you to move toward it?

Is it control?
Comfort?
A belief that says it’s too late?

Sometimes, we’re not stuck because we can’t move—we’re stuck because we don’t want to pay the price to move.

But that doesn’t have to be your story. You are capable of more than you think. And what you want?

💥 It’s not too big.
⏳ It’s not too late.
💝 And it’s worth every bit of the cost.