The #1 Struggle Single Women Face - and How to Finally Fix It
What if the biggest thing holding you back isn’t your relationship status—but the way you see yourself?
If you’re like most single LDS women I coach, you’ve probably had thoughts like:
“Something must be wrong with me.”
“I’ve missed my chance.”
“If I were more spiritual, more attractive, or just better, I’d be married by now.”
These thoughts feel true. They feel heavy. And they quietly shape how you live.
But what if I told you… the real struggle isn’t your singleness?
👉 It’s the opinion you have of yourself.
That one belief—often unspoken and unnoticed—is driving more of your life than you realize. It affects how you pray, how you date, how you dream, and how you show up in your day-to-day decisions.
Your “Awful Thought” Might Be Running the Show
Every woman has what I call her “awful thought”—a painful belief that plays on loop in the background of her life.
Mine was: “I’m not good enough.”
That one thought? It was behind everything I didn’t like about my life. It was why I stayed stuck. Why I carried extra weight. Why I chased men who didn’t want me. Why I kept trying to earn love instead of receiving it.
And here’s the kicker: I didn’t even realize I was thinking it.
Until one day I did. And then everything changed.
Why Your Opinion of Yourself Matters So Much
Here’s the truth I teach my clients all the time:
Your opinion of yourself determines how you show up in your life.
Think of it like the soil under your feet. If the ground is shaky, everything you try to grow will struggle.
If you believe you’re unworthy? You’ll settle.
If you believe you’re broken? You’ll hide.
If you believe you’re a failure? You’ll avoid risk—and stay stuck.
Your opinion of yourself affects:
The relationships you allow
The goals you go after (or avoid)
How you collaborate with God
Whether you feel safe trusting others—or even trusting yourself
And when your opinion of yourself is low, it becomes nearly impossible to believe that God truly loves you as you are.
But Here’s the Good News: You Can Change It
Your opinion of yourself is not a fixed fact—it’s a story.
One you’ve picked up, repeated, and rehearsed for years.
And because you’re the one who’s been repeating it, you’re also the one who can rewrite it.
Here’s how:
Discover it
Start noticing the tone of your self-talk. Ask yourself:
“What do I assume about myself when things don’t go my way?” That question alone can reveal a lot.Challenge it
Get curious. Is it actually true? Would you say that to someone you love?Change it
Start replacing those old beliefs with new, truthful ones. Practice your new opinion until it becomes the one on replay.
It’s simple. But it’s not always easy—especially when you're still swimming in the pool of old patterns. That’s where coaching can make all the difference. I’m on the shore, and I can help you get out get out of the pool and on solid ground.
The ROI of Changing Your Opinion of Yourself
If you're wondering whether it’s “worth it” to do this work—let’s talk about the return on investment.
Because here’s the truth:
🛑 You’re already paying a price for staying stuck in your old story.
That price shows up in:
Missed opportunities
People-pleasing and perfectionism
Fear-based decisions
Strained or surface-level relationships
Constant mental exhaustion
But when you invest in rewriting your opinion of yourself?
✅ You show up with confidence—in church, at work, in life
✅ You stop obsessing over what others think
✅ You collaborate more freely with God
✅ You stop letting the past hold your future hostage
✅ You start living like someone who knows she's deeply worthy of joy, connection, and love
That’s not fluffy self-help. That’s real, lasting ROI.
There’s nothing wrong with you.
But there might be something wrong with the story you’ve been believing.
And that’s the part you can change.