Making a Big Life Decision? Here’s What You Need to Know First
Big decisions have a way of showing up whether we’re ready or not.
And when they do, they often bring a familiar sidekick: confusion.
Should I go back to school?
Should I move somewhere new to find love?
Should I stay on this career path—or is it time to shift?
Most of us get stuck right there in the fog, saying, “I just don’t know what to do.” But here’s the truth I’ve learned: confusion isn’t always the problem. Sometimes it’s exactly what moves you forward—if you choose the right kind.
Curious Confusion vs. Indulgent Confusion
Let’s break it down. There are two types of confusion:
🔹 Curious confusion is the kind that sparks growth. It nudges you to ask questions, weigh options, and explore. It’s the beginning of clarity—not the end of it.
🔹 Indulgent confusion, on the other hand, is the kind that keeps you circling the roundabout of indecision with your blinker on. It feels safe, but it’s a trap.
I’ve lived both.
The Time I Got Curious
There was a season in my life where I was pouring energy into emotionally unavailable men—men who weren’t serious, weren’t investing, and definitely weren’t showing up for real love. But I kept chasing breadcrumbs and calling it a love story because deep down, I believed: “I’m not good enough.”
I was confused—and then I got curiously confused.
Something had to change. So I did what I’d never done before: I reached out for counseling.
That journey led me to a moment I’ll never forget. At the end of one of my sessions, the counselor looked at me and said, “The reason you’re still single is because you’re fat.” 😳
Was that the whole truth? No. But did it stir something in me? Yes. Because I knew in my bones there had to be more to the story. I didn’t let her comment define me—but I did let it fuel me.
Curiosity helped me keep going. I didn’t stop. I didn’t stay stuck. I stayed in the questions, and that led me to real answers—and real growth. 💛
The Time I Got Stuck
Now let’s talk about indulgent confusion… because I’ve been there too.
When I first launched this podcast, I knew in my heart I was called to serve single LDS women. But I named the show The Single Christian Woman instead. Why? Because I didn’t know how to reconcile the podcast title with President Nelson’s invitation to use the full name of the Church. And honestly? It just felt hard. 😬
So I waited. I circled the roundabout of “I don’t know how,” even though the Holy Ghost kept nudging me. For over a year, I stayed in indulgent confusion.
Eventually, I trusted God, took the exit, and made the change.
How to Tell the Difference
Wondering what kind of confusion you’re in? Ask yourself:
🌀 Am I learning something new—or just rehearsing the same old “I don’t know”?
🌀 Have I set a deadline to decide—or am I waiting to magically feel “ready”?
🌀 Is this helping me become who I’m meant to be—or keeping me stuck in who I’ve always been?
Remember: clarity doesn’t always come before the decision. Sometimes it shows up because you decided.
Choose Your Confusion Wisely
Here’s your truth bomb for today 💥:
Confusion can be a step toward clarity—or the ditch you lie in to avoid moving forward.
If your confusion is helping you grow—amazing.
But if you’re circling the roundabout of inaction, doubt, and delay… it’s time to be honest: that’s not wisdom. That’s fear pretending to be logic.
You were made to move forward.
Not to have it all figured out—but to trust God and walk with Him through the fog, not around it. ✨
And if you don’t know which kind of confusion you’re in right now? That’s okay too.
Sometimes we need help seeing clearly again. That’s where coaching comes in. I’d love to walk alongside you, help you untangle what’s really going on, and take the next step out of the fog and into the life you were meant to live.
You don’t have to figure it all out alone.