The Secret Confident Single Women Know ~ Why Most Women Miss It

If “I should be able to fix this myself” has ever been the soundtrack looping in your head, it’s time to change the music.

Here’s the truth: strong women — the wise, grounded, faith-filled kind — ask for help. They do it not because they’re weak, but because they understand how growth really works.

Lately I’ve been thinking about how help shows up… and how often we resist it. What if asking for help is actually the way God designed your progress to happen?

When I Realized Help Is Holy

Yesterday I sat down to journal and reread my last entry. It stopped me in my tracks. I’d written about my podcast listeners — strong, independent women who sometimes try to do it all themselves (sound familiar? 😊).

We all want things in our lives to be better. We want peace in our relationships, confidence in our choices, healing in our hearts. But when it’s time to reach out for help, we freeze.

That day, I listed all the ways I’ve gotten help through the years:
books, scripture study, podcasts, church lessons, conferences, Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig, gym memberships, trainers, therapists, coaches, doctors, chiropractors — and yes, my hairdresser every eight weeks (because let’s be honest, I’m not cutting my own bangs again 😂).

Then I wrote a question: Does any of that make me weak, needy, or indulgent?

Nope. It makes me wise — wise enough to recognize that God’s plan for growth often includes other people. Every bit of progress I’ve made — spiritually, physically, emotionally — has come from being willing to receive help.

Heavenly Father blesses others with gifts and experiences I don’t have. When I allow them to share those gifts with me, everybody wins.

And if you’re navigating life as a single woman in our faith, you already carry more alone than most people realize. Of course you need support — and of course God has prepared it for you. 💛

God’s Way of Helping

Here’s what clicked for me that day: God doesn’t give commandments or promptings without providing a way to keep them.

That verse in 1 Nephi 3:7 hit differently: “The Lord giveth no commandment unto the children of men save he shall prepare a way for them.”

The “way” He prepares often looks like people, resources, and opportunities already waiting in your path. When He nudges you to forgive, heal, strengthen your faith, or find love, He’s already arranged the help you’ll need — maybe through a coach, a therapist, a book, or a friend who calls at just the right moment.

He works “by small and simple things,” and most of those small things have names, jobs, and cell phones. 😉

Another truth: our desires are divine. If you want something good — peace, purpose, growth, connection — it’s because God planted that desire in you. He doesn’t give righteous desires you’re incapable of creating or receiving. Desire is evidence of capacity — His way of whispering, “You can do this with Me.”

So when you feel that tug for more, don’t shame it. Follow it toward the help He’s already prepared.

The 3-R Framework

Here’s a simple way to practice this: Recognize, Reach, Receive.

Recognize – Where are you stuck? What’s the desire tugging at your heart? If it’s there, you’re capable of growing into it.

Reach – Look for help that’s already waiting — a book, a coach, a therapist, a friend, a prayer. Remember: if God’s asking something of you, He’s already prepared a way… and that way might have a website, an office, or a podcast mic. 😊

Receive – This is where pride wants to slam the door. Let help in anyway. Let it feel awkward or humbling — it’s okay. Receiving help often feels vulnerable, unfamiliar, even uncomfortable — and that doesn’t mean anything’s gone wrong. That’s just the feeling of growth.

Why We Resist

If it feels hard to ask for help, nothing’s wrong with you. Your brain has good-intentioned reasons:

• Pride or fear of judgment — “I don’t want people to think I’m failing.”
• Need for control — “If I ask for help, I’m not in charge anymore.”
• Vulnerability or fear of disappointment — “What if I ask… and it still doesn’t work?”
• Old conditioning — “Handle it yourself.” “Don’t be a burden.”

Your brain is simply trying to protect you from discomfort and uncertainty. But growth requires discomfort — and that’s okay.

Your Quick Win

Take five minutes today to make a Support Inventory:
spiritual / emotional / physical / practical.

List the help you already have, then notice the gaps.
Choose one area where you could invite support this week — send the text, book the call, buy the book, say the prayer.

Then give yourself this 14-day rule:
If I invest in something, I’ll implement it for 14 days before I judge it.
Growth needs a little time to breathe. 🌱

A Final Thought

God gives us desires so we’ll grow, and He provides the way so we can succeed. Our job is to Recognize, Reach, and Receive.

So the next time your brain whispers, “I should be able to do this myself,” take a breath and remind yourself — strong women ask for help. Because wisdom doesn’t walk alone.

Imagine what could open up in your life if you stopped trying to do everything alone: peace returning, confidence rising, and relationships shifting — all because you allowed help in. 💛