Myth-Busting Singleness: What Never-married, Divorced & Widowed Women Need to Know

No matter how we arrived at singleness, we often end up believing a story about what it means—and those stories can get heavy.

There are three different “entry points” into singleness:

• You may have never married.

• You may be divorced.

• You may be widowed.

Each path is unique, but I’ve noticed something fascinating: regardless of the reason, we often create a myth about ourselves or our future that just isn’t true.

Today, I want to bust three common myths—one for each group—and share a simple 3-step process to help you replace those myths with truth.

Never Married Myth: “I’ll Be Alone Forever”

When you’re 20 and single, this myth probably hasn’t even formed yet. But by the time you’re 30 or beyond, it can start to take root—especially when you see friends getting married, starting families, and moving into new life phases.

I remember feeling this myth deeply myself. My mom married at 28, and I thought I might follow a similar timeline. But 28 came and went… then 30, 40, 45, 50. Twenty extra years of singleness can feel like forever, especially if you were expecting something different.

But here’s the thing: “forever” is a long time, and none of us can see that far ahead. Being single now doesn’t mean you’ll be lonely forever. And love, connection, joy, and companionship are not reserved only for the married.

Divorced Myth: “I’m Not Following God’s Plan”

Divorce is hard—no matter the circumstances. And in LDS culture, it can carry an extra layer of shame. While not always taught directly, there’s an unspoken message that if your marriage ends, you’ve stepped “off plan.”

But God’s plan has always included agency, redemption, and the ability to start over. Divorce doesn’t end your worthiness or your relationship with Heavenly Father. Sometimes what we call “off-plan” is just “off our original plan”—not His.

The truth? You can still be following God’s plan and moving toward joy.

Widowed Myth: “I Have to Do Everything On My Own”

Losing your husband is more than heartbreak—it can feel like a lifequake. The weight of responsibility—emotionally, financially, spiritually—can be overwhelming.

The myth says you’ll always have to carry it all alone. But “on your own” doesn’t mean “abandoned.” In Luke 7, Jesus saw a grieving widow and moved toward her with compassion before she even asked for help. He still does that today—often through family, friends, and community.

Support doesn’t always look like a spouse. It can be God’s grace, a friend who takes something off your plate, or the willingness to let others help.

The 3-Step Myth-Busting Process

No matter your circumstance, you can use this process to loosen the grip of the myths you’ve believed:

✅ Step 1: Define the Myth
Ask: “What do I really mean when I say this?” Get specific. Challenge the language you’re using, especially absolutes like “forever” or “always.”

✅ Step 2: Ask What Else Might Be True
Make room for other possibilities. Maybe this is just a season—not a sentence. Maybe God hasn’t forgotten you—He’s preparing you. Maybe you’re more supported than you realize.

✅ Step 3: Loosen the Grip
You don’t have to change the belief in one day. Just start holding tighter to the truths you’re discovering and a little looser to the myth. It’s okay to live in the middle for a while.

The Real Root of Every Myth

If we zoom out, these myths all come from the same place:

• The fear that you’re not safe.

• The fear that you’re not loved.

• The fear that you’re not enough.

Those fears are lies.

Here’s the truth:
You are safe in God’s perfect plan.
You are loved—fully, deeply, eternally.
You are enough—right now, as you are.

You don’t have to fix yourself to earn God’s love. You don’t have to be married to prove your worth. And you don’t have to carry false beliefs about your future just because of your current circumstance.

Your Turn

Which myth have you been believing? How might this 3-step process help you see your singleness differently?

Friend, you don’t have to wait for your life to change—or return to what it once was—in order to feel peace again. You just have to stop believing the lies that are holding you back.