3 Steps to Ditch the Past and Create a Future You Love

Let me ask you something—what time zone are you living in?

I’m not talking about Pacific, Mountain, or Central time. I’m talking about the mental time zone you spend most of your life in.

A lot of us are living in the wrong one. We’re living in the past.

Now, I don’t mean the sweet kind of remembering—sharing stories with family or laughing over old photos. I’m talking about spending most of your life stuck in what already happened, replaying it over and over.

One of the biggest signs you’re living in the past? You start sentences with, “If only…”

• If only I had started earlier.

• If only I were thinner.

• If only I knew what to do next.

• If only God loved me.

• If only he wanted me.

• If only I had more money.

• If only I had more time.

Maybe your brain is already filling in the blank with your own “If only…”

Here’s the thing—every “If only” keeps your feet planted in yesterday, and yesterday is a time zone you can’t live in anymore.

Mental Jet Lag

Trying to live in yesterday is like having mental jet lag. And mental jet lag is just like actual jet lag—but without the fun of waking up in Paris or Venice.

It leaves you tired, confused, sluggish, irritable, unfocused, and just kind of “off.”

And here’s something most people miss—every “If only” is carrying a hidden assumption. It’s quietly telling you something about yourself or your life:

• If only I had started earlier → assumes it’s too late.

• If only I were thinner → assumes your worth is tied to your size.

• If only I knew what to do next → assumes clarity has to come before action.

• If only God loved me → assumes His love is proven by your circumstances instead of the truth that He loves you because you are His daughter.

• If only he wanted me → assumes your value is decided by someone else’s interest.

• If only I had more money → assumes money is the only way to get what you want.

• If only I had more time → assumes you are powerless over your calendar.

When you uncover the assumption hiding behind your “If only,” you suddenly have a choice: do you want to keep living in that assumption, or do you want to choose a better way?

Nephi vs. Laman and Lemuel

This reminds me of a moment in 1 Nephi 17. Nephi’s family had been traveling in the wilderness for about eight years—living in tents, hunting for food, getting married, having babies, and enduring the daily challenges of life on the move.

When they finally reached a resting place full of fruit, wild honey, and other blessings God had prepared for them, they got to rest for a while. But then came a new command: build a ship to cross the waters.

Nephi looked back on the previous eight years and remembered how God had blessed and strengthened them—even while they lived on raw meat in the wilderness. He saw their journey as proof that God could be trusted to help with whatever came next.

Laman and Lemuel, on the other hand, remembered those same years completely differently. They complained about leaving Jerusalem. They said, If only we’d stayed, we wouldn’t be suffering like this. Classic “wrong time zone” thinking—using the past as evidence that the future couldn’t be good.

Same 8 years. Same circumstances. Different time zones.

Nephi was future-focused: If God has commanded this, He will help me accomplish it. Laman and Lemuel were stuck in the past, feeling defeated.

The Only Time Zone You Can Control

Here’s the truth: the only time you have any actual power in is today.

Yesterday? You can’t touch it. You can’t change it. You’ve already lived it.
Tomorrow? You can influence it, but only by what you do today.

When you live in today’s time zone, you get to create tomorrow’s reality. When you live in yesterday’s, you’re just recycling old stories and pain.

So instead of saying, “If only…,” start asking future-focused questions:

• What can I do right now with what I have?

• Who do I want to be by this time next year?

• What’s one small action I can take today toward that?

You Are Safe, Loved, and Enough

Often, living in the past is tied to a deeper fear—that you’re not safe, not loved, not enough. That something has gone wrong, or worse, that something is wrong with you.

But here’s the truth:

• You are safe—in God’s perfect plan.

• You are loved—fully, deeply, eternally.

• You are enough—right now, just as you are.

Nothing has gone wrong. And there is nothing wrong with you.

3 Steps to Ditch the Past and Create a Future You Love

Here’s your challenge for the week:

Step 1 – Catch it.
Whenever you hear yourself thinking “If only…,” pause and write it down exactly as it came to mind.

Step 2 – Name the assumption.
Ask yourself: What’s the hidden assumption here? What am I believing about me or my life?

Step 3 – Flip it forward.
Turn the assumption into a future-focused question that moves you toward action today.

Here are some examples:

• If only I had started earlier → Assumption: It’s too late.
  Future-focused question: Since I’m starting now, what’s one quick win I can create in the next 7 days?

• If only I were thinner → Assumption: My worth is tied to my size.
  Future-focused question: What’s one thing I can do today to care for my body with love?

• If only he wanted me → Assumption: My value is determined by someone else’s interest.
  Future-focused question: How can I show up today in a way that makes me proud, regardless of his opinion?

• If only I had more money → Assumption: Money is the only door to what I want.
  Future-focused question: What’s a no-cost step I can take today toward my goal?

• If only I had more time → Assumption: I’m powerless over my calendar.
  Future-focused question: What’s one thing I can take off my plate this week so I can focus on what matters?

• If only I knew what to do next → Assumption: Clarity must come before action.
  Future-focused question: What’s the smallest step I can take today, even if I’m not 100% sure it’s perfect?

The more you practice this, the less mental jet lag you’ll feel—and the more you’ll find yourself living in the right time zone, where real change actually happens.

Because living in the correct time zone isn’t just about feeling better—it’s about giving yourself a real shot at the life and love you desire and are capable of creating.