4 Excuses Holding LDS Women Back - And What They’re Costing You
If I could sit across the table from you right now, sipping Diet Cokes together, I’d tell you something I’ve seen over and over again—not just in my clients, but in myself too.
We want change. We want confidence. We want the kind of life where we can walk into Relief Society, the boardroom, or a singles conference and feel like we truly belong just as we are.
We want to stop replaying the same old thoughts and start actually living the life God is inviting us into.
But… then we don’t take the steps to make it happen.
Why?
In this post, I want to talk about two things:
The incredible return on investment (ROI) you get when you change the opinion you have of yourself.
The four sneaky excuses your brain might be serving up that keep you from taking that step.
The ROI of Changing the Opinion You Have of Yourself
Every decision we make is because we want what’s on the other side of it.
When you decide to change your opinion of yourself and your life, here’s what’s waiting for you on the other side:
You stop fixating on what other people think and get free from people-pleasing.
You walk into any room with confidence, believing you belong and have worth.
You make decisions with clarity because you trust yourself.
You stop letting your past hold you hostage and set your future up for joy.
You hear God more clearly and willingly collaborate with Him.
You move toward your goals instead of just wishing things were different.
That’s the kind of ROI you can’t measure with a calculator—but it changes everything.
So why don’t we all go for it? Because our brains love to serve up excuses that feel like truth. Let’s call them out.
Excuse #1: “I don’t think I can do it.”
Maybe you’ve tried before—another program, a self-help book, a season of fasting and prayer—and you didn’t see the results you hoped for. Or maybe you’ve never even tried, so it feels safer to believe you can’t.
I had a client once who told me, after years of counseling, “This is just the way I am.” She treated her limitation as if it were a permanent fact.
But here’s the truth: you’ve never done it this way—with my tools, my teaching, and me as your coach. You’ve never had someone helping you see what you can’t see for yourself. That kind of trained perspective changes everything.
Excuse #2: “I don’t have the time.”
Our brains have three main jobs, and one of them is to conserve energy. Learning something new feels like “too much,” so your brain offers, “I don’t have time.”
I think of a past client who hired a nutritionist at the busiest time in her life. On paper, it made no sense. But she realized that delaying her health goals would only cost her more later.
The same is true here—staying stuck actually costs you more time, more energy, and more missed opportunities. Starting now saves you time in the long run.
Excuse #3: “I should be able to figure this out on my own.”
Independent women, I’m looking at you. We hate asking for help because it feels like admitting weakness.
But remember the parable of the talents in Matthew 25? We’re each given different abilities. That means we need one another to get through this life—we’re not meant to do it alone.
Think about it: if your car needed a full engine rebuild, you wouldn’t try to do it yourself. You’d hire a mechanic. Why expect yourself to rebuild your self-confidence without a guide? Getting help is a sign of wisdom, not weakness.
Excuse #4: “It won’t work for me.”
This one is quiet but dangerous. It assumes that because of your past, your uniqueness, or your circumstances, you’re beyond help—so you close the door on your own future.
I’ve heard this from women who have convinced themselves they’re somehow outside the reach of the Savior’s love and power. But the scriptures are full of stories proving otherwise:
Sarah laughed when told she’d have a child (Genesis 18).
The woman with the issue of blood had tried everything for 12 years before reaching for Jesus’ robe (Mark 5).
Enos prayed for hours before hearing, “Thy sins are forgiven thee” (Enos 1).
The belief that “it won’t work for me” is one of the biggest reasons to try—because letting it win means shutting Heavenly Father and Jesus out of the very places They want to heal.
The Cost of Staying Stuck
Here’s the thing: every one of these excuses has a price tag. They cost you peace, joy, clarity, confidence, opportunities, and connection with God.
The ROI of changing your opinion of yourself is worth far more than the cost—because it touches every part of your life.
You don’t have to fix everything by tomorrow. You just have to take one step. And once you start replacing these excuses with truth, you’ll be amazed at what opens up for you.