Wish He’d Change? Here’s How to Heal Even If He Never Does
Father’s Day is just around the corner—and whether it’s a sweet celebration or a tough reminder, this time of year has a way of stirring things up. Especially for women who don’t have the warm, supportive, Instagram-worthy relationships with men that others seem to celebrate.
Maybe Father’s Day brings up memories of a dad who wasn’t there… or an ex-husband who still causes pain. Maybe it's a father-in-law who never accepted you. Or even the ache of a man who was supposed to be in your life—and isn’t.
And let’s be honest: Instagram isn’t full of those stories. So maybe, like many women, you lay low on Father’s Day. Skip church. Avoid the Primary songs. Hang out with Ben & Jerry’s—two guys who never disappoint. 😉
If this is you, I want to gently offer something that might change everything:
👉 You can have a better relationship with any man in your life—even if he never changes.
I know. That might sound impossible. But hang with me. What I’m about to share has transformed not only how I see others—but how I experience peace.
What Actually Makes a Relationship?
Here’s a truth that might surprise you:
A relationship isn’t made up of actions. It’s made up of thoughts.
It’s not about what he said or didn’t say. It’s not about whether he remembered your birthday or showed up for your milestones. It’s about how you think about him.
Your relationship with your dad, for example, isn’t defined by missed phone calls or forgotten events. It’s made up of three things:
What you think about him.
What you think he thinks about you.
What you think about yourself in that relationship.
That’s it. Your emotional experience isn’t determined by what he did—it’s determined by what you believe about what he did.
Real Talk: What’s the Story You’re Telling?
Let’s take a different example. Let’s say your ex-husband doesn’t check in on the kids, skips birthdays, and never communicates with you.
The story your brain might be telling you is:
“He’s a terrible dad. He doesn’t care. He’s selfish.”
And you know what? There’s probably plenty of evidence to support that.
But let me ask you something:
How do you feel when you think that sentence?
Angry? Resentful? Drained?
Now here’s the shift:
What if you didn’t pretend he was great, but you did choose a new thought that gave you peace?
Try one of these on:
“He’s doing the best he knows how to do.”
“He’s not capable of more right now.”
“This is where he’s at—and that’s okay.”
These aren’t lies. They’re simply different thoughts. Ones that don’t keep you stuck in pain. Ones that let you take your power back.
You Have 100% Editorial Control
This is about you—not him.
You get to write the story of what this relationship means. You get to choose what you think about him, what you believe he thinks about you, and how you view yourself.
And no—it’s not “spinning it.” It’s not gaslighting yourself. It’s telling the truth that sets you free.
Because here’s the truth:
You don’t need his apology to heal.
You don’t need his approval to feel worthy.
You don’t even need a text back to know what’s right for you.
What you do need?
A new story that serves you.
A Gentle (But Life-Changing) Invitation
As Father’s Day approaches, I want to invite you to do something small—but powerful.
Pick one man in your life who brings up pain. Then ask yourself:
What do I think about him?
What do I think he thinks about me?
What do I think about myself in this relationship?
Write it down. Read it back.
Then ask: Do I want to keep thinking these thoughts?
Because you can rewrite the story. You can choose thoughts that feel more loving, more peaceful, and more true.
You don’t have to wait for him to change to feel free.
You just have to change your story.
Ready to Take the First Step?
If you’re tired of waiting for him to change—so you can finally feel peace again—I’d love to help you take your power back.
💬 Schedule a free coaching consultation with me today:
👉 sharonlamarcoaching.com/bookasession
We’ll talk about the relationship that’s hurting you and how to begin healing it from the inside out. No pressure, just one powerful conversation that could change everything.
You don’t have to stay stuck in a painful story.
You can change your relationship with him—even if he never changes.