Same Life. New Story. Here’s How to Be Happier Now.

For those of you who’ve been with me a while, you know I got married for the first (and only) time at 52. That decision meant moving from Las Vegas to the Midwest and saying goodbye to my 25-year corporate career. A big, beautiful life change.

Eleven years later, I’m still here, and pretty quickly after moving, I found my grocery store, church family, some great walking trails—and a gym. Now, my husband belongs to a very old-school, crusty kind of gym, and we both knew it wasn’t going to be a good fit for me. I found a local YMCA near a park and small lake, and that’s been my gym ever since.

But recently? I’ve started to dread going. I don’t love the vibe anymore. I’d drive into the parking lot ready to work out, but instead of going in, I’d take a walk on the trails nearby. Same parking lot. No gym. Still paying the membership fee.

So I decided to switch gyms.

And let me tell you, the new gym is fresh and energizing—and I actually go inside and work out now. Crazy, right?

What did I do? I changed a circumstance—a fact in my life. The definition of “circumstance” is just that: a fact. The fact of where I work out shifted. That’s it.

When I moved from Vegas and got married, I changed a few facts, too—my address, my job, my marital status. Circumstances.

But here’s the truth I want you to hear:

Your life circumstances have way less to do with your happiness than you think.

What You’ve Been Taught (and Why It’s Not Helping)

Since you were little, you’ve been taught that when your life looks the way it’s supposed to, then you can be happy.

If you’re a cheerleader, get into the right school, get married, have the picture-perfect family—then you’re doing it right and you get to be happy.

And if you don’t hit those milestones? Well, something must be wrong, right?

Wrong.

That’s just not how happiness works.

You don’t have to wait until your life looks the way you planned to feel good. You can live single and still be happy. I know this because I’ve done it. And I keep doing it—even now, married and living a totally different life.

You don’t need to wait for the “right” circumstances to live a full, joyful, connected life.

The First Step to Living Happier Now

The secret is learning how to separate the facts of your life from the story you’re telling yourself about them.

Let’s go back to the Y.

Fact: I have a gym membership at the Y.

Story: The Y is crusty and stale. The people are stogy and in my way. They’re judging me. (Also, I’m judging them right back.)

But not everyone sees the Y that way. Some people love it! They feel community, comfort, connection.

Same gym. Same people. Different stories.

Now let’s look at being single.

Fact: You’re single.
Story: (Well, that depends…)

Toward the end of my single life, my story was empowering. I told myself: “Married or single, I’m going to become the woman God knows I can be. Marriage isn’t required for growth. I’ll live this life fully now and pursue marriage because I want to—not because I have to.”

But earlier in my singleness? My story sounded more like: “This isn’t fair. Something must be wrong with me. I’m being punished. God has put my life on hold.”

Same relationship status. Same woman. Different story.

Do you see how powerful that shift is?

Why This Actually Matters

You might be wondering, “Okay, Sharon—but I’m still single. Why does this matter?”

Because when you learn to separate facts from the stories you tell about them, you get to choose your story.

And that’s a game changer.

You start to live intentionally. You tap into your agency—that God-given ability to choose your thoughts. Your brain is part of God’s creation, and your ability to think is His gift to you.

You can choose to believe that you’re behind, broken, or benched.

Or you can choose to believe that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be, living this chapter on purpose, with joyful anticipation for what’s next.

Same life. Different story. And that choice? It’s yours.