Still Single and Still Hurting? You’re Not Missing the Answer - You’re Dismissing It!
The other day, I came across a post on Instagram that stopped me in my scroll. It read:
“Dear single friend, your singleness isn’t a problem to fix – it’s a space to flourish.”
I immediately thought, Yes! That’s it. It’s what I say, what I believe. But then…I started reading the comments.
One woman wrote, “This is only advice married people give. They don’t understand how lonely singleness is.”
Another shared, “I wanted children. I’m running out of time. I’ve prayed for a husband for years—this doesn’t feel like a blessing.”
And another: “How do I fit in at church when it only caters to the young or the over-60 crowd?”
Their pain was real.
And familiar.
Because I’ve been there too.
I’ve sat in that same hurt, asking those same questions:
“Am I doing something wrong?”
“Why hasn’t God answered this righteous desire?”
“What’s so great about being alone?”
For decades, I did all the things—church, callings, temple service, prayers, fasting, and showing up faithfully. And still, no husband. Not until I was 52.
So, if you’re in that place of pain and prayer and wondering… I get you. I want to offer you three lessons I learned in my long season of singleness—three lessons that changed everything for me.
✨ Lesson #1 – Shift Your Prayers
There was a time I treated prayer like a vending machine: Insert enough righteousness, press the right button, and out pops a husband.
But that’s not how God works—and that’s not the kind of relationship He wants with us.
One of the most powerful shifts I made was to stop praying only for a husband and start praying for the feelings I thought a husband would bring.
Try these instead:
“Heavenly Father, help me feel loved—right now.”
“Help me see that I am already seen, chosen, and deeply loved.”
“Help me recognize the people and moments You’ve already placed in my life to meet my needs.”
“Help me stop overlooking Your answers just because they don’t look the way I expected.”
God isn’t holding out on you—He might already be giving you exactly what you’ve asked for…just in a different package.
✨ Lesson #2 – Stop Dismissing the Answers
This one’s a biggie.
We’ve been taught that love and worth come wrapped in a husband, marriage, and children. So when those things don’t arrive, we think our prayers have gone unanswered.
But what if love shows up as a friend who checks in on you, or a coach who sees your worth, or a moment in sacrament meeting where you feel the Spirit tell you, You are mine?
If we only expect love and belonging to come through marriage, we miss what God is already giving us through other means.
And when someone says from the pulpit, “Motherhood is the highest, holiest calling,” it’s easy to feel like we’re doing life wrong. But let me tell you this:
There is not just one way to become Christlike.
There is not just one path to worthiness or joy.
God sees you. He’s answering you. Please, don’t wave off the love He’s already sending.
✨ Lesson #3 – This Is Your Life
That quote from Instagram? It’s more than feel-good fluff.
Your singleness is not a mistake.
It’s not a punishment.
And it’s not a holding pattern.
This is your life. Right now.
You’re not in a waiting room hoping God finally calls your number. You're already living the one, beautiful, sacred life you’ve been given. And singleness is just one part of it—it’s your current marital status, not your identity.
You get to choose:
Keep waiting…
Or start living.
God’s purpose for your life isn’t marriage—it’s joy. (2 Nephi 2:25)
Joy isn’t found in a wedding ring. It’s found in partnering with God to create a life you love—right now. Joy is being open to unexpected blessings. It’s knowing you’re loved, seen, and held even without a plus-one.
Final Thoughts
You’re not wrong for wanting a husband. That desire is good and holy. But if you’ve been waiting to feel love, worth, and belonging until he shows up…you’re missing the life God has for you today.
This is your one life.
You’re not behind.
You’re not forgotten.
And you are not alone.