Being Single Is Painful—But It Doesn’t Have to Stay That Way
Let’s be real.
Being single hurts. Especially when your deepest desire is to not be single.
I was single until I was 52, and believe me—I felt the pain in more ways than one. There was the loneliness, of course. The ache of watching friends get married and start families while I stayed stuck on the sidelines. The sting of feeling like I was somehow… less than.
And that’s just the beginning.
If you’re anything like me—or like the women I coach—you’ve probably felt these too:
Loneliness – That lack of deep companionship is no joke.
Comparison – Seeing others move into relationships while you stay waiting.
Social Pressure – Family, church, community expectations.
Judgment – The subtle (or not so subtle) stigma of still being single.
Disappointing Dating Pool – Where are the quality Christian men?
Financial Stress – Handling everything solo when you thought you’d have a partner.
Being Overlooked – Especially in church communities that focus on couples.
Unfulfilled Dreams – Longing to share your life and faith with someone.
Grief – From past relationships, from never having married, or missing out on motherhood.
Heartbreak & Betrayal – After doing “all the right things” and still being let down.
Whew. That’s a lot.
But here’s the truth:
You are not broken.
And you are not alone.
The pain is real—but it doesn’t have to have the final say.
Let’s Introduce a Little Hope
What if your singleness didn’t have to hurt so much?
What if there were 3 simple (but powerful) rules that could help you live with more peace, more joy, and more hope—even before your relationship status changes?
These aren’t just tips. These are soul-protecting promises you make to yourself.
Ready? Let’s go.
Rule #1: I Love Myself Unconditionally
Before I learned this, I was constantly beating myself up. I didn’t need anyone else to judge me—I had that job covered.
Too fat. Not pretty enough. Too independent. Not fun or flirty enough.
Sound familiar?
One client once told me, “I’m the beastly whale in every room. Guys don’t find that attractive.”
That broke my heart.
And I told her what I’m telling you:
Beating yourself up only adds to the pain. You’re already carrying enough—don’t pile on more with your own self-judgment.
Instead, promise yourself this:
💗 I will treat myself with kindness, respect, and encouragement.
💗 I will stop criticizing and start caring.
💗 I will love myself—no matter what.
Loving yourself is not optional. It’s essential.
Rule #2: I Trust Myself 100%
Before I learned this, I was the queen of keeping promises—to everyone else.
Church activity? I’d plan it like my life depended on it. Teaching or speaking? I’d show up fully prepared.
But when it came to keeping promises to myself?
Crickets.
You know the drill. You tell yourself, “I’m going to walk after dinner.” Or “I’m going to start journaling.” Or “I’ll finally book that consultation call.”
And then… you don’t.
Trust is built by doing what you say you’ll do—especially when it’s for yourself.
Let booking a call with me be the first step in building that trust. Say you’ll do it, and then actually do it.
Because trusting yourself? That’s how you start believing in your own power again.
Rule #3: I Am Willing and Able to Feel Any Emotion
Oh, friend. This one is huge.
Most of us were never taught how to feel our feelings—we were taught to react, avoid, or stuff them down with ice cream and TV.
I used to think if I just ignored sadness or frustration, they’d go away. (Spoiler: they didn’t.)
Then I learned something life-changing:
Feelings are harmless—if you allow them.
Let me say that again. Harmless.
You don’t have to fix them, fight them, or flee from them.
When you learn to allow an emotion—to sit with it instead of run from it—you unlock a whole new level of freedom.
This is the kind of thing we work on together in coaching. You learn that nothing you feel can break you. And when you’re no longer afraid of emotions? There’s nothing you can’t do.
Final Thoughts
Being single can be painful. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.
By practicing these three rules, you can start shifting your experience:
Love yourself unconditionally.
Trust yourself to follow through.
Feel your feelings without fear.
These aren’t just rules. They’re lifelines.
And you don’t have to walk this road alone.
If you’re ready to stop living in pain and start living with purpose, peace, and possibility—let’s talk.
👉 Book your free consult at sharonlamarcoaching.com/bookasession
Make that promise to yourself—and keep it.