3 Choices You Can Make Today to Create a Future You Love

Over the last couple of weeks, my husband and I went on vacation, hiking through some incredible National Parks. In just 10 days, we explored 19 different trails. 🥾🌲 It was a lot of hiking — which we love!

Something struck me as we were headed back down the trails. We’d often pass people on their way up who had stopped to rest. Almost every time, they’d ask two questions:

1️⃣ “How much farther do we have to go?”
2️⃣ “What will we see when we get there?” — a waterfall, a breathtaking vista, maybe a magnificent redwood?

One woman even laughed and said, “I saw a trail and just decided to walk it.”

As we sipped water and shared what was ahead — a hidden waterfall, a sweeping overlook, or some towering trees — it hit me: so many of us live life the same way. We wander, hoping to end up somewhere meaningful, but without real clarity about where we’re going or how to get there.

And here’s a fun little word-nerd discovery: the word trail has the exact same letters as trial. 🤯 The path itself doesn’t change — but how you see and walk it does. Your experience as a single woman — whether never married, divorced, or widowed — can feel like either a hopeful trail or a heavy trial.

I love the reminder in Proverbs 29:18:

“Where there is no vision, the people perish.”
Without a vision for your future, your trail can so easily become a trial.

Let’s talk about how to choose purpose and possibility no matter which “trail” you’re on.

If You’re Never Married 💕

Maybe your heart longs for marriage and family with a like-minded, gospel-centered partner. That beautiful vision doesn’t just happen by accident.

I know this first-hand. I was single for decades longer than I thought I would be. I couldn’t guarantee marriage to a good man, but I could increase the odds by making intentional day-to-day choices. Sometimes I chose well; other times I didn’t — and those misaligned relationships eventually ended (often for my good). My choices mattered, and yours do too.

Here are three smart choices you can start making now:

1. Date with vision. ✍️ Write down the vision for the relationship and family you want. What does it look like? What doesn’t it look like? Be specific — then say yes to dating relationships aligned with that vision and no to the ones that aren’t.

2. Develop emotional maturity. 🧘‍♀️ Take responsibility for your own emotions. Your happiness isn’t someone else’s job; it’s yours.

3. Build independence. 💪 Strengthen yourself financially, emotionally, and spiritually. Enter dating and (hopefully) marriage from a place of confidence — not desperation.

If You’re Divorced 🌱

Divorce is rarely easy. Whether it was your decision or not, it can shake your sense of trust and leave a backpack full of bitterness, regret, and self-doubt. But you don’t have to carry that weight into your future.

Three powerful steps can lighten the load:

1. Do the healing work. 💗 Therapy, coaching, journaling — whatever helps you process pain and let go. Healing isn’t weakness; it’s wisdom.

2. Practice healthy boundaries. 🛡️ Protect your heart so you don’t repeat painful patterns. Boundaries create safety and clarity.

3. Rebuild trust in yourself. 🌟 Keep small daily commitments to prove you can make good choices again. Over time, you’ll feel steady and capable.

Your divorce doesn’t get to define you — unless you let it.

If You’re Widowed 🌷

First, my heart goes out to you. Losing your spouse changes everything. You may or may not want remarriage in your future — either way, joy and purpose are still possible. Grief and hope can live side by side.

Consider these three gentle but powerful actions:

1. Honor your grief. 😢 There’s no timeline for healing. Let yourself mourn and remember, while slowly allowing space for new joy.

2. Lean into community. 🤝 You don’t have to walk this road alone. Seek support — friends, faith groups, professionals — whatever helps you feel held.

3. Rediscover who you’re becoming. 🌸 You’ve evolved through love, loss, and change. Explore who you are now and who you want to be next. That self-discovery can be beautiful and freeing.

The Trail or the Trial — You Decide 🌄

No matter how you arrived at singleness — never married, divorced, or widowed — your future can feel like despair or like purpose and possibility. The difference isn’t the path itself; it’s the vision and choices you make today.

Your future self is counting on you. Picture her standing at a breathtaking overlook, grateful that you didn’t wander aimlessly or let pain weigh you down. She’s there because you dared to see what was ahead and chose your steps with intention. ✨

The same five letters make both trail and trial. You get to decide which one you’re walking.